A waterlogged and weary Kauffman slams open the door to the tavern and saunters in. He throws his rifle onto the bar counter and orders a drink, lights a cigarette and proceeds to shout
" Everyone gather ‘round! y’all are gunna wanna hear ‘bout this one I reckon. "
After downing his drink he sits at a bench and kicks his feet up,
" So the crew and I decided to go check out that ’Disappearing Island’ Y’all were causing such a fuss about. When we got close, we could tell somethin’ about that island wasn’t right, it was all rock, no plant life of any kind and real jagged like. After reaching the shore we set out looking for anthing out of the ordinary…"
he pauses to take a long drag off of his cigarette
“We was walking around for what felt like a dogs age before one of our clerics casted a spell that lit up the air on the island a bright blue, something about it was magical. We could tell that it was flowing from a direction so we started headin towards that. Eventually we hit a giant, smooth wall, I’m talking as smooth as babies ass. We sent a pixie up to the top to scout out and determined that it was actually a giant dome. We were stumped I tell yah, we tried everything. We yelled at it, hit it with a hammer, hell, I even threw water on the damn thing, but to no avail. Our minotaur friend, Greathorn, decided to try and press his magical scroll against it, which let us pass through the barrier. We realised that pressing a magic item against it would allow us passage through.”
another cigarette drag
" When we all got through, we were stunned. There was a damn valley under the dome ! Real beaut it was. We started headin’ down towards the middle to try and find out what we were in for. Unbeknownst to us, there was a village of frog like people, real ugly I’ll tell yah, that didn’t take to kindly to us impeding on their land. After surrendering our weapons, and an offering of a gift, they decided we weren’t an immediate threat and led us down to meet their leader. Todly his name was, a big ol toad. We entered his abode and started asking him about the island itself, saying we weren’t a threat, just tryin’ to make some sense of it all.
This is were things got sticky, ya see, Todly told us that we weren’t on an island at all. He told us that we were in fact, riding on the back of an Ancient Dragon Turtle. A GOD DAMN TURTLE. After some harsh negotiations, and some threats, we all acquired some rings that would let us breathe under water from Todly, in an attempt to not drown.
Soon the dome became flooded with water, all the way to the brim. So we decided to swim down into a giant hole in the center of the dome, turns out we were swimming down INSIDE the damn thing. We swam through this creatures body for what felt like forever. Eventually we slashed open some tube in its body and tried to swim into that. After another long ass time we emerged into an opening, and were attacked by some weird looking blobs with a bunch of mouths. They weren’t much a match for the likes of us though I tell ya (He laughs while slapping someones knee).
We kept swimming and finally made it to an area that wasn’t totally underwater, this entire place was almost filled with treasure. One of our Dwarf friends found a pretty slick lookin’ shield, and some of us pocketed some gold. Not soon after we were attacked by another odd looking thing. A giant floatin’ eyeball with a bunch of tentacles. Damn thing near blew my head clean off. We made quick work of him too.
FInally the Turtle decided it was time to spit us out into his cave, along with all the treasure. This thing was MASSIVE, I’m talking head atleast 50 feet wide. We made it to shore where our pal Captain Elsweyr picked us up and brought us home. What a time.